I have been trying my best to maintain my composure while going through the motions to get things done. But, it’s not easy. I have to admit. During the recent 3-4 weeks, even the sleeping pills and alcohols are not sufficient to keep me asleep for more than 5 hours at night.
Although I am sure, or almost sure, that moving back to China and taking the last opportunities to be with my grandparents is the right choice, the uncertainties associated with the change are still overwhelming. My last job change from Ariba to Symantec only required me to drive 1 mile further each way every day. Still the same house, the same local hang-outs, and the same circle of friends. But, this time, I am packing up my life here in a big container and a few suitcases and getting ready to ship everything to China in 10 days.
China versus the US, which one feels more like home to me? One is the place I was born and raised up; the other is the one where all my professional and adult life resides. I have to say, in some strange way, the US, the “boring” Sunnyvale feels more like a home for me.
However, will I never regret if I don’t spend more time with my beloved grandparents during the limited time they still have? The answer is clearly yes, I will regret. So, no whining, let’s move on.
Today, I finally feel sightly more accepted with the decision to move back. Taking a break to enjoy some downtime, reading a novel – one of my favorite – Around the World in 80 Days, drinking some wines. Chill out among all the recent craziness.
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